Rumors
by brazenbell
Summary: What goes around comes around... and then some.


Crabbe and Goyle lumbered about the castle, talking about girls, as Malfoy swept along a few paces ahead.

"Pansy is totally hotter than Padma," Crabbe grunted, and glanced up at Malfoy for approval. Malfoy remained as disinterested as was humanly possible. Crabbe's face fell a little.

"Nuh-uh," Goyle retorted, "Pansy's fat." This was one of the smartest things he had ever said, and Malfoy rolled his eyes appreciatively. Pansy had been following him about lately, and at first he had enjoyed having another minion, but she couldn't beat people up like Crabbe and Goyle could and anyway she squealed.

"Hannah Abbot."

"She's got boils all over her face. Ehh, Patricia Stimpson."

"Who? No, no, no, wait, I've got it – Cho Chang."

Goyle sniffed in what was probably supposed to be a superior and authoritative way, but it came out sounding like a congested snort. "Potter's girl?"

"No, that's Granger."

"No, Granger's seeing a Hufflepuff, I thought. Or the Irish kid –"

"Doesn't matter, she's ugly anyway."

"Big teeth."

"Curly hair!"

Malfoy whipped about and snarled, "Shut up!"

Crabbe and Goyle stopped short and stared. Malfoy stared back, turned scarlet, and sneered, "God, you two are so uncreative. Can't you pick someone who's not such an easy target? We all know the girl looks like a... a... bird." (Ginny, at this point, came running down the hallway with her arms full of books, but she slowed when she saw Malfoy and his cronies.)

"She don't look nothin' like a bird," Goyle whispered. "More like a beaver."

"Just shut up," Malfoy snapped and continued striding down the hallway, shooting a furious glare at Ginny as he went. Ginny made a face at him, but it was more out of habit than actual malevolence. She'd never heard him speak of Hermione without being cruel before.

* * *

Ginny returned late to the common room, and the first person she bumped into was Katie. Katie waved cheerfully and plopped into one of the armchairs, and Ginny, a little incredulous, giggled,

"Are you drunk?"

"No," Katie retorted. She hiccuped and corrected, "Tipsy."

"How? It's Wednesday!"

"Fred and George snuck out to Hogsmeade and brought back a couple barrels of butterbeer."

"_Barrels_?"

"You can't have any," shouted Fred.

"Anyway," Katie continued, lolling in the chair, "you're back awful late. Where were you?"

"I had to talk to Sprout. My grade's slipping."

"I saw... I saw Seamus and Lavender kissing behind the Herbology sheds."

"Old news."

"Oh yeah? What have you got, then?"

Ginny hesitated. Was it all right to exaggerate a story in order to wheedle a friend into stealing butterbeer from your brothers? Yes, it was. "Well, I overheard Malfoy and Crabbe and Goyle talking... but it wasn't anything interesting."

"Aww, come on!"

Eyeing her brother and feeling only a little bit guilty, Ginny said, "I'll tell you if you get me a drink."

* * *

"Fred," George demanded, wobbling over, "what on earth are Angelina and Katie giggling about?"

"Hm?"

"Over there, in the corner, they're – Jesus, put that down!"

"Oh." Fred beamed. "Sorry."

"What is that thing anyway?"

"Don't worry about it. What about Angelina?"

"She and Katie are laughing about something and they won't tell me what. Also I think Ginny got into the butterbeer. She's off necking Dean someplace."

"Dean?"

"Yeah. Can't find either of them."

Fred frowned and cracked his knuckles, but then he thought better of it. "You go handle Dean, and I'll talk to Angelina."

* * *

Angelina explained everything hurriedly, her voice tinged by the undercurrent of a constant snicker, and then fell face-first onto Fred's neck.

"Oh Jesus," Fred said. "Uh, hi, Katie."

Katie giggled uncontrollably.

"Did we... did we bring back too much butterbeer?"

"Not enough!" shouted Parvati, appearing out of nowhere and tugging Angelina off of Fred. "What are you guys talking about?"

* * *

After another forty minutes, Cho Chang showed up.

"She's not in Gryffindor!" George hissed to Fred. "What's she doing here?"

"Parvati told Padma about the party, and Padma brought Cho," Fred shrugged. He paused. "Is that blood on your knuckles?"

"You told me to take care of Dean!"

"What did you _do_!"

"Don't worry about it. Ginny's off ogling Potter now anyway, it doesn't matter."

"She won't get to ogle him for long, if Cho's here."

"Oh, God, no, we need to keep her distracted or she'll come after me! She hates it when I beat up her boyfriends!"

Fred refilled somebody's glass and hurried over to his sister. "Hey, Gin, how about you tell Potter what Angelina told me? About Malfoy and what he said about Hermione?"

"Wait, what did Angelina tell you?"

Fred repeated the tale.

"That's not what I said!"

"Isn't it?"

"Anyway, Harry'd tell Ron. Go away, Fred."

"Mm? Oh, look, there's Cho Chang. She's looking awfully pretty tonight, huh?"

"I hate you," Ginny grumbled and she stumbled over to Harry.

"I'd tell Angelina's version," Fred called after her, "it's much better."

She stuck her tongue out at him, but judging by Harry's reaction, she took his advice.

* * *

After that, the night remained relatively drama-free considering how drunk everyone was. Miraculously, McGonagall never showed up, perhaps because everyone had just finished a particularly brutal round of exams, and even she could be merciful at times. Fred and George – and indeed everyone else – had gotten pleasantly drunk, and they were just preparing to pack up and leave the common room when Ron came lumbering down the stairs.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa – what's going on?"

"I'm too drunk for this," groaned George.

"YOU TRAITORS! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME?"

"Bluh?"

"I HAD TO HEAR FROM HARRY – WHO SPENT ALL NIGHT SNOGGING MY SISTER, THANKS TO YOU ROTTEN –"

"She's our sister too, mate," Fred yawned. "Can't do much better than the Boy Who Lived, can you? What are you shouting about?"

"HERMIONE, YOU MORONS! MALFOY AND HERMIONE!"

"Malfoy what?"

Suddenly Fred realized what had happened. "Oh, Ron, that's not –"

But Ron, completely enraged, his mental faculties soaked in butterbeer, was out the door.

"Oh shit," noted Fred.

* * *

Something red and maroon barreled into Malfoy and slammed him backward into the stone wall of the corridor. Malfoy managed a "HEY –" before he got punched in the face and collapsed to the ground, clutching his newly purpled eye. "Hey, Weasley, what the hell –"

"HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT HERMIONE THAT WAY!"

"What are you talking about? Ow, my eye! I'll be writing to my father about this!"

"I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID!"

"Are you... drunk?"

"TALKING ABOUT... ABOUT FUCKING HER SENSELESS, AND ALL THOSE THINGS YOU SAID ABOUT HER BREASTS, AND –"

Malfoy nearly fainted. "How did you... what?"

"YEAH, I FOUND OUT! I HEARD IT FROM HARRY, WHO HEARD IT FROM CHO, WHO HEARD IT FROM GINNY, WHO HEARD IT FROM PARVATI, WHO HEARD IT FROM ANGELINA, WHO HEARD IT FROM FRED – WAIT, I FORGET, I THINK FRED HEARD IT FROM GINNY SO MAYBE HARRY ALSO HEARD IT FROM GINNY – IT'S NOT IMPORTANT!"

"I literally have no idea... You imbecile!"

"WELL, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT HERMIONE IS A VERY SWEET GIRL WHO HAS ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST IN THE LIKES OF YOU!"

"..."

"AND ANYWAY, MINE IS BIGGER!"

"I highly doubt that," Malfoy mumbled and ducked his head in case of another blow.

"A HEX WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO GOOD FOR YOU," Ron roared furiously, and stormed away.

"Yeah, and your wand's broken," Malfoy hissed after him, staggering to his feet.

Hermione said, "What was that all about?"

Malfoy froze. Slowly, he turned around. Hermione had just rounded the corner and was eyeing him with a mixture of suspicion, amusement, and something else he couldn't quite name. "It's after curfew," he pointed out and immediately felt incredibly stupid.

"I was in the library. I have a special pass. What are you doing?" She craned her neck. "And what was Ron doing?"

In fact, Malfoy had come from detention, but he had no intention of telling her that. So instead he snarled, "None of your business. Now get away from me, you filthy Muggle-born."

He flinched as soon as the words were out of his mouth. He half expected her to punch him again (after all, there was no one around), but she just looked at him for a very long time. Malfoy cringed.

Finally, she said, "Okay."

"I... What?"

"I said okay. I'll go away."

"You'll... well, good. I mean, you don't have to. But, uh. I mean, uh, yeah, you better or Crabbe and Goyle will..."

"Have a good night, Malfoy," Hermione interrupted. She smiled at him (his insides squirmed) and turned around to walk away. It was really hard not to stare.


End file.
